Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
It's been a busy year, but I hope to write more in 2010. Please know that even if I'm not writing, it doesn't mean that I'm not finding humor in everyday life. I hope to share more in the next few months. In the meantime, I want 2010 to be a year in which you share with me some of your humorous observations.
In 2010, I have a few goals with respect to my writing:
a) Blog more. And read more. I'm inspired by other bloggers and writers.
b) Submit an article to the Boston Globe. I have the story.... I just have to write it.
c) *Start* my novel. Well, if you count the first paragraph then I have already started. And it may not be a novel. We'll see how long it is by the time I'm finished. It might turn out to be a one paragraph story with no end. Let's avoid this together: please help me with my research and let me know if you know anyone that has been a sports team mascot or worn a full body costume for promotional purposes. Extra points if you bring me the Gecko from the Geico commercials.
I am also going to a conference in January. It's a scientific conference, so I expect there to be a lot of good material. A convergence of very serious robotics scientists wearing summer attire in the desert in January is excellent fodder for a humor blog.
I must go now. There's quite a lot of activity in my town these days. Mall traffic and a rise in eggnog consumption have appeared. Business-sponsored fat men with rosy cheeks and red suits with reduced working hours have also been spotted for the first time since last year. And those are just the corporate executives. Coincidentally, everyone is filled with glee.
I was feeling the usual obligation to buy a gift for anyone who ever smiled at me which includes all of you (except family members who instead get another full year of my love and complaints, the gifts that keep on giving). Unfortunately, the pet insurance and subsequent funeral expenses for my pet rock (RIP Pebbles) have created financial hardship. Thanks for understanding.
Happy New Year and Merry Debt-mas!
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
If Verizon's features include Caller ID and great customer service, then why don't they call me back even if I don't leave a message?
Monday, November 30, 2009
I am feeling inspired to make a video too. I will call it "The manners your parents forgot to teach you". The sequel, aimed at teaching etiquette to the sick employee's healthy counterparts, will be called "Why holiday potluck lunches are your ticket to swine flu hell".
Friday, November 27, 2009
"Hello. Where were you when you saw the image of Jesus on your iron? By chance, were you over there next to that enormous pile of freshly printed iron-on Jesus T-shirts?"
My next post will be about the morning I saw Jesus in my espresso. But, I was thirsty so I drank Him.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
I'm part Mexican. At least for the 24 hours after I eat a burrito.
I recently asked myself, "should I go to a conference in Palm Springs CA in January?". That's like asking if a frog's ass is watertight.
I've been busy planning my new business. I'm going to open a sub-optimal bakery. I will acknowledge that I am not a professional and that the quality is good but not great. That way, when you need to take a baked good to a holiday party, dinner party, or work you can easily claim it was yours. Because I will guarantee imperfection. Or your money back.
Annoying cell phone kiosk salesperson: Excuse me, can I ask you a question?
Me: You just did. Bye.
And some notable moments from a recent trip to the surgical OR:
Nurse: What brings you here?
Me (pointing to head): Assist with a cyst? Nurse (without smiling): Never heard that one before...
The surgeon later said, "You should have an open mind." With that, he made thus true and removed two cysts from my scalp. I am now more well-rounded.
The surgeon asked me how I was doing halfway through the procedure. I told him that I would be napping if it wasn't for all the sharp objects in the room. He said "Me too".
The surgeon warned me about potential scarring and then asked me if I grew my hair out. I explained that it was usually shoulder length but that I had it cut short for the procedure.
Me: What was that? Surgeon: Your cyst popped out and rolled down your head and neck.
Surgeon: It's about the size of a chick pea. Me: As in hummus? Surgeon: Definitely not.
Surgeon: You're back?!?!? Me: Yes. I was halfway home when the anesthetic wore off. The feeling of blood running onto my ear was a hint that the incisions weren't completely sealed. There's bloody tissues all over my car. Surgeon: Oh, how's your car? Me: Let's talk about the head first, please.
Me: Do you validate parking? Receptionist: Did you see a doctor here? Me (pointing at bandage wrapped head): Nope. Just came for the cafeteria food. Wrapped my head like this to fit in. And park for free.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
"Every time we tried namecalling with those Dum Dums, they always won up front with their name," said one competitor.
"After awhile, we stopped competing with Dum Dums and went after Smarties. There was more room to knock 'em down," replied another competitor.
"You are what you eat, so we ate Dum Dums and Smarties at the same time. Quite frankly, we were confused" said Anonymous.
"We named one of our products Stupid Stupids, but we weren't nearly as successful as those Dum Dums," emailed another company.
"We have a lot of respect for the Dum Dum family. But, we plan to take them down with Idiot Pops," said another company.
"We were going to sue them for trademark infringement, but we were just too melancholy" said a Glum Glum representative.
"Honorable honorable," was the brief reply from the president of "The National Association for Protection of Stutterers Stutterers" (NAPSS) when asked about the Dum Dum name.
"We collaborated with them on a product called Dum Gum, Dum Gum, but the market response was disappointing" said the marketing manager for Gum Gum, Inc. "Fortunately, NAPSS bought all of our inventory."
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Please accept my application for your active 55+ community. I apologize if this is too forward-thinking for a family business currently in the countertop business, but I assure you that your path is obviously clear. Let me explain.
About 5 years ago, I went to your location which was a fitness equipment store and bought an elliptical machine and weight machine. At the time, it was called Omnee Fitness and I was very active and ready to transfer my workout routine from a plush gym to my cold basement. It mostly worked out well, especially since there wasn't anyone else to see me working out in my ski jacket and boots. Pushing those small keypad buttons with my fat winter glove fingers also made for an interesting workout.
I recently drove by your site and noticed that you have changed your name to Omnee Granite. (I will note that I am not using your actual company name, because I don't want some muscle-bound granite installer to get upset about this blog entry.) I have not yet been inside your faux kitchen showroom, but I would assume that your inventory has also changed with your name.
Your transition from a health and wellness business to a kitchen remodeling operation is in line with how we grow as people. In the same way that years ago you and I were both thinking "exercise", we are now both thinking "food" instead. Hence, our simultaneous shift from ellipticals to cooking surfaces. Both are related to a different type of remodeling, no?
Therefore, it only seems appropriate that together we explore the retirement living business. I have enclosed my deposit check made out to "Omnee Active 55+ Living". I am reserving my place early, because I know that you will be hugely successful. Especially with your fully equipped fitness rooms and beautiful granite kitchens.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Her name starts with the letter 'S'. This morning she ran around the house with a large wood-carved 'S' yelling, "S starts with me! S starts with ME!"
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Is everything ok? I haven't seen you in awhile and I noticed that a couple planters in your yard have been toppled over. They've been there quite awhile, yet the flowers appear to be well-maintained. I also noticed that a small wheelbarrel full of flowers has been left abandoned near your lamppost. I wouldn't have been concerned, except that it appears that something happened in your life that caused you to only push it so far. You should know that it's missing a wheel and has been painted purple in your absence. It's also quite small which leads me to wonder if something is wrong with your legs that first prevented you from addressing the planters and subsequently made it too difficult to finish the yardwork. Meanwhile, the wheelbarrel's cargo of marigolds also appear to be thriving.
While you are on you are on the mend, I hope that you will have time to consider my apology. Given the state of your yard, this seems like an opportune time to make a confession. At last year's Superbowl party, I accidentally toppled a bowl of chili behind your couch. On my way to find paper towels, I was distracted by a huge bowl of wings. I never did make it back to the chili. Sorry. If you haven't discovered it by now I suspect that like the flowers in your toppled planters, the chili is thriving. You should also have your nose looked at. But while we commiserate about our similar plights, I should also admit that I left a big plate of chicken wing bones on one of your end tables. I hope that you found these soon after the party. If not (or your recent limitations have prevented you from placing them in the garbage), shall I come over and paint them purple?
Thursday, October 15, 2009
As I do with most tailgaters, I wanted him to eat fender. So, I applied the brakes and slowed down to 75 mph. In most great action stories such as this one, my brakes would promptly fail and we would both go barreling down the highway until one of us jumped off a ramp over the police roadblock and land in a shallow reservoir while the other did victory donuts in a concrete drainage canal . However in this true story, I got off at my exit ("Exit 365. Urban Sprawl / Cubeville") with the rest of the 'muters and stopped at the light. Luke Duke however went whizzing by me towards his own misery.
As the truck passed me, I noticed the large Johnsonville sign on it's side along with a picture of the company's popular sausages. A moment later, I noticed that the back of the truck was displaying the company's current marketing slogan, "Tailgateville". I realize that this is referring to the age old tradition of parking one's car at a sporting event or concert and unloading enough beer, food, and propane tanks to earn the respect of complete strangers.
However, I am also acutely aware that the term "tailgate" also refers to the age old tradition of driving really close to the car in front of you because it might help them get to their destination 30 seconds earlier. If they are really good tailgaters, you can read the print on their "Successful completion of the Offensive Drivers course" certificate proudly hanging on the gun rack.
I always wanted the phrase "of sausage fame" to follow my name, but for now we'll give it to Johnsonville. Their fame has come with their success, which must be the result of very effective marketing campaigns.
I imagined a 30 minute training video in which Mr. Johnsonville IV explains to a classroom full of astute drivers that they play an important role in communicating the "Tailgate" theme. That they must make sure that, as the faithful front line of the company's public image, they get "Tailgate" on America's brains. Other drivers should want to go to "Tailgateville" and eat sausage. How better to transmit this message than to run them off the road into a drainage ditch? In that moment, they might be thinking "BrokenCollarbonesville" or "HopeICanDial911WithMyTonguesville", but subconsciously they will be thinking "Tailgateville". Make sure you don't kick up too much dust, because we want to make sure that the target can see our marketing slogan as you speed away.
As with every training video, the students are reminded that "Sausage is not a style of life. Sausage is a lifestyle." Apparently, so is eating fender.
Friday, October 9, 2009
Sensing the possible misinterpretation of my seemingly inappropriate comment, I clarified "In the showroom over there. One of the couches has a toppled coffee cup on it. The brown stuff made a big mess."
Saleswoman (smiling): "Oh, no worries. That's fake. It's there for demonstration purposes. It helps make the point that coffee spills and such are no big deal with our fabulous fabrics, spill-proof additive, and protection plan. It's plastic. Completely fake."
"Right. The real coffee spill is on the same couch as the fake one. There's two," I replied.
"WHAT?!?!? Did someone really spill coffee on the couch? Where? Oh my god? Is it a big mess? I'm going to have to remove it from the show room. Show me!" she reacted.
"Just kidding. Test over," I said as I waved on my way out the door.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Thanks for hanging in there. I do plan to pick up my writing again. I might have to pack my good intentions for my pending move, but as soon as I find my clothes, something to cook with, and the kids amongst the boxes, I plan to start writing more frequently. In the meantime, tell me a story, introduce yourself, or help me increase my Followererership by telling your friends that I do did be writing good. Just not recently.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
"Yes. I would like to purchase a person," I replied.
"A person?" she asked.
"Yes. Just one. Do you have anymore?"
"I don't understand."
"That's a separate issue."
"I'm sorry, but-"
I interrupted. "Your sign. It says $59 per person. I only have $100 with me. I can only afford one unless you will give me the second one at a discount. The sign also says that they each come with their own breakfast."
"Excuse me, but I'm going to get my manager."
"If his name is Wade, he's in the pool."
Friday, July 24, 2009
When the pediatrician told me that my daughter had foot-and-mouth disease, I told him that he didn't know the half of it and started to explain how inappropriate she can be in public places. When he reminded me that she is only two years old, I realized that there is a difference between foot-and-mouth disease and foot-in-the-mouth disorder. I apparently have the latter.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
I have been collecting my very preliminary data, most of which was jotted down on the back of a Dora the Explorer singing birthday card after a few hours of beer pong. I would have collected more data, but Dora's singing drove me to drown the card in the toilet. My data collection is therefore somewhat incomplete.
My genetic study will confirm that members of families that own and run furniture stores inherit one of two genes from their successful parents. The majority of their offspring will inherit a gene that prevents the family member from recognizing the embarrassment of their own relatives. The remainder, a very small percentage, inherit a gene that compels them to star in every single one of their own commercials despite their pitiful performance and the feedback of their marketing department, employees, and anyone else unrelated to them.
The combination of these genes clearly results in a successful business. But, I suspect that it's their business acumen and strategic development that has allowed them the opportunity to get in front of a camera and not a care for a moment about little things like humility or the reputation of their teenage kids.
A few mutations of these genes have also been documented in the literature. One particular mutation causes furniture store owners to lose control of their bowels every time the director yells "Action!" Another mutation results in the frequent outbursts of laughter at the simple mention of a "love seat" followed by hours of pointing at the film crew's bums and yelling "I'll sell you a better one!"
Once my grant proposals are accepted, my research will enter the next phase. This involves collecting genetic material from my subjects. I plan to show up to the commercial filmings, which must happen twice a day given the frequency of new ads, and collect biological samples. This should be easy to collect, given the stain-proofing substances on all of their furniture. I'll simply wait until they break and swipe a hair off the love seat. And in this case, I do mean the furniture.
Friday, July 10, 2009
I appreciate feedback. While in the men's room at work today, the motion-activated paper towel dispenser activated in a moment when I was far from it (please don't ask me where). It was proactive in giving it's feedback. Unfortunately, I don't know what it's intentions were. Perhaps it wanted to be there for me when I most needed it. Or rather was it a cute motorized way of saying "hurry up"?
Friday, July 3, 2009
Friday, June 19, 2009
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Friday, June 12, 2009
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Thanks so much for your patience while I put writing on hold for a few weeks as I get oriented at the new job. In the meantime, I hope you will dedicate the time that you typically spend reading my words to a new activity. This should be easy given that both only take a minute, perhaps two, of your otherwise valuable time.
If you ever thought that my writing was humorous, then you clearly haven't met or read my friend Matt who writes the Modern Day Critic at www.moderndaycritic.wordpress.com. But wait! Before you go read his blog later, keep reading mine for another moment. Stay focused people!
Matt has entered a contest to name the new Stride Gum. Please help a friend and fellow blogger out by voting for his entry, Mintfinity. Please go to www.stridegum.com and vote Mintfinity. If you do, he and I will love you for Mintfinity.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
When I log on to my fancy pants computer, I occasionally get prompted to "Log in to enroll your fingertips." Never in my life did I expect my fingertips to be so important. They need to be enrolled. They're all grown up, my fingertips. Today, I couldn't help but imagine a day in the future when my fingertips would don caps and gowns at biometric security graduation. I'm so proud, I'm getting all choked up.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
In getting to my team and the laboratory processes by way of a laboratory tour, I took note of materials, machines, and mice (there were none, but it's always good to keep tabs on 'em). I smiled when I saw a bottle labeled "CFO Wash". Of course, I realize that this is a specific reagent to the technology used in that part of the lab. However, I couldn't help but imagine that this liquid was available just in case the company's head of all things financial showed up looking a bit dusty (one gets that way from rolling around in money. Or so I hear). Naturally, my next thought was...self-applied or team-building exercise?
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Okay, so I've been a little absent and clearly my fear of decreased readership is on my mind. Please stick around. I've simply been busy as I change jobs. Tomorrow is my first official day onsite. I spent the last two days in orientation getting oriented. I must now start sleeptation getting sleeped.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
(I enjoyed the Shepard Fairey exhibit at the Boston Institute of Contemporary Art today.) Granted my posse consists of two toddlers and their mommy, but it's a posse nonetheless).
When I got home, I noticed an article online. The link is here, but just in case it dissolves I have pasted it here also with credits to the Boston Globe:
"BERLIN—German police said an elderly man was so annoyed at hearing the same serenade over and over that he called authorities to report his neighbors -- only to discover the culprit was a musical greeting card on his own windowsill. Police said Tuesday the 82-year-old from Goslar in central Germany told officers he was sick of the music, which would come at irregular intervals and at all hours.
Upon further investigation, police found the musical greeting card on his windowsill, where occasional breezes opened the card just enough to play an irritating tune.
Police said the retiree was happy to find out his neighbors weren't trying to annoy him."
That's hysterical! But, apparently I owe my neighbor next door an apology. I guess they haven't been singing Feliz Cumpleanos in their best Dora the Explorer voice all Winter after all. And Mrs. O'Shamrock stopped talking to me the day I suggested that her singing was worse than a 25-cent Mexican Music Box. I said Adios and forgot about it until I saw this article.
The story prompted me to find that card in my living room and throw it out immediately. But, I won't stop my visits to the local Hallmark store to see one particular Thinking Of You card. We have an understanding. She always opens up to me (no really, she does) and sings such sweet words to me. Repeatedly and confidently. Until they close the store at night and ask me to leave.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
My to-do list took me to Lowe's. My wife had a break in her schedule, so I picked her up on the way. Once we got there she said that she was glad that she came along so that I didn't go "overboard". Apparently, this has happened before. On my list of five items was a toilet seat. We really need to replace the seat in our 1/2 bath on the first floor of our house. Since we bought the house two years ago, sitting on that thing has given visitors a good scare when they begin to slide. Obviously they haven't actually fallen off, because there would have been a post or two about it by now.
At Lowe's, the toilet seat display is very interesting. The seats are hanging vertically from the standard metal shelving that they have throughout the store. I imagine that they are hanging like this, because they want to prevent folks from trying them out for comfort. Once we selected a seat based on visual inspection alone, we discovered that the new seats were behind the hanging displays. They were hung pretty high and a bit awkward to move. Therefore, one would have overheard in Aisle 12: Can you please lift the toilet seat while I pull one of those suckers out?
While driving to a meeting this afternoon, I noticed a run down beer and liquor store with no cars in the parking lot. The large sign out front said:
Ask About Our Olive Oil
I'm not an expert on marketing, but I have a feeling that they need to change their sign if they want to sell more, I dunno, beer and liquor? It's not the olive oil or the ATM that's bringing people in. Who's running inside and asking for recommendations on olive oil? Something that goes well with fish and my in-laws. Oh and I'm going to buy a lot, so do you happen to have an ATM?
A popular chain of coffee shops now offers "Artisan Sandwiches". If sandwich making is an art, then I'm Picasso. Joking aside, please point me in the direction of the next Sandwich Artisan Open Studios.I was in a clothing store today looking at dress socks. I wondered, how often to guys actually buy the combo of three socks of different shades? I can understand how this works for kids - stripes, polka dots, and dancing bunnies. But, how often does someone look at the package and think, Wow, those match my khaki, taupe, and dancing bunny pants perfectly! I would bet that 2/3 of the dress sock trio end up in the back of the drawer indefinitely.
Today, I also saw a sign in front of an apartment complex that read "If you lived here, you'd be home by now." I thought this sign was funny and creative when used in front of the condominiums along Storrow Drive in downtown Boston to taunt the drivers sitting in traffic. But, in the suburbs the sign doesn't make any sense. You could hang that sign anywhere and it would be true. It led me to think about how this sign could be more interesting under different circumstances:
If you lived here, you'd be dead by now. (Cemetery)
If you lived here, you'd have ten wives by now. (Polygamist Commune)
If you lived here, you'd be running a successful drug trafficking business by now. (Vacant Warehouse)
If you lived here, you'd be taking this sign down by now. (Anywhere)
Please leave a comment and tell me what else you would be doing by now if you lived here...
Sunday, May 3, 2009
As a side note, I Googled the product and the company and found advertisements for their "embossed" toilet paper. Subsequently, and not by accident, I found an online dictionary entry for "embossed" that read: "to mold or carve in relief". We've now moved from appropriate to inappropriate.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
First of all, I'm still enjoying my Kreativ Blogger Award. However, with it comes the great responsibility of tagging two more bloggers worthy of the Award. I've been too busy to articulate my nominations, but plan to do so soon. It also wasn't helpful that I briefly lost the award. It's actually a virtual award, but I carry it everywhere. The morning after I received it, I was excited to take it to work. I carried it to my car along with my laptop and lunch. However, I must have left it on my car's roof and drove off without realizing it. Needless to say, my award fell off the roof and shattered into a million (virtual) pieces. Boy, was I embarrassed. So, I've been looking all week for a new one. As part of my strategy, I even posted "in search of" ads online in hopes of finding a suitable replacement. One particular ad, which offered massages in exchange for a new or "like new" Kreativ Blogger Award, got me in a bit of trouble with the police. In the end, I decided to make my own with the same virtual materials used to make the first one. Back on track, I'm planning to write more about my nominations soon.
This past week was my last week at my most recent job. It included a lot of dining out for lunch and dinner with friends and coworkers. One such outing was to a barbecue restaurant that also specialized in "chicken and waffles". Surprisingly, this is not the humorous part of the story. But, it's at least worth mentioning that I never thought that I would enjoy a waffle topped with fried chicken, 5 herb butter, maple syrup, and honey mustard sauce would be so good. One Inner Humorist reader made me proud with a great joke, including the words "waffle" and "chicken", when referring to another coworker's indecision about joining us for lunch.
The humorous part of the chicken and waffles experience was what happened when we ordered. As far as I could tell, there were three people working; the cashier, the cook, and The Expediter. The cashier did all the cooking and the cook did all the cashiering. Just kidding. Their roles and responsibilities were clear. The Expediter also had an important role. Actually, he had two. He stood near the chef behind a stainless steel table and faced the seating area. As the chef completed meals, he placed them on the table. When an order was complete, he yelled loudly "Order UP!" He then promptly walked around the table and picked up the order and bring it to the awaiting customer. Since I was with a party of nine, I had the opportunity to watch him do this repeatedly. Was he really announcing "Order UP!" to himself? Brilliant. When you are shorthanded and wearing many hats, why not make it clear to everyone around? In fact, if I were him I would probably swap hats as I rounded the table corner. I might someday have the opportunity. When I open my coffeeshop, I might "hire" a full staff of characters all of which I will act out independently. Unfortunately this business plan is instantly flawed, because as soon as the manager asked one of the slacker employees to clean the bathroom, I would quit.
On a separate topic, why does the spellcheck on Blogger highlight "bloggers" as a misspelling, but not "blogger"? They should have more confidence. Of course there's more than one. Or perhaps I should give them the benefit of the doubt. Is there a plural for "blogger" that I am unaware of? Like Bloog, Bleeg, or Bloggerie?
Finally, if you are reading please say hi. Leave a comment or "Follow" me. I promise not to "Lead" you anywhere that doesn't have chocolate.
Friday, May 1, 2009
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Friday, April 24, 2009
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Friday, April 10, 2009
Thursday, April 9, 2009
I'm much stronger now than I once was. I've learned to resist the urges that are typical of a Dove chocolate addiction. I've reduced my weekly intake from 2 bags to less than 1/4. I still keep two bags in the kitchen cabinet and a top secret emergency bag in my drawer at work, however I often forget that they are there.
Tonight, I was driving home and getting quite hungry as I sat in traffic. The apple didn't cut it and the pretzels were long gone. I suddenly remembered that I had a bag of Dove Promises in my bag. They are ultimately destined to replace the empty bag in my desk drawer at work, but I forgot to transfer the bounty this afternoon. I quickly unzipped the outer pocket of my computer bag, tore open the Dove chocolate bag, and grabbed one of those suckers. I was in a trance, mesmerized by the blue metallic wrapper and the promise of chocolate heaven that lay within. Yet, I was still able to appreciate the healthy choice to take only one. I was proud of my recent progress in fighting the addiction. To eat one and stop there has been a great milestone in the quest to conquer my inner chocoholic.
While savoring my chocolate surprise, I read the inside of the wrapper and was pleased with it's message. It simply stated:
Monday, April 6, 2009
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Monday, March 30, 2009
Friday, March 27, 2009
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Faster than you could say Woogie she yelled, "Don't do that or I'll open the front door!" This stopped my dead in my tracks and the teasing stopped immediately.
As part of my self-diagnosis, I did what my online medical training prepared me for. I performed an ice cube test, which involves self-torture to prove a point already well made. I'm looking forward to a doctor's visit later this week so that I can actually make the point to a fellow medical professional. I probably should have taken a picture of the first test results, but I wasn't really thinking clearly while itching the hell out of an ice-cube size welt on my arm.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Friday, March 20, 2009
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Monday, March 16, 2009
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Thursday, March 12, 2009
- Marked drowsiness may occur.
- Excitability may occur.
- Avoid alcoholic drinks.
- Be careful when driving a vehicle or operating machinery.