Saturday, April 18, 2009

DUI On A Bar Stool

I recently got a speeding ticket. I earned it the moment I blew past a cop doing 75mph in a 55mph stretch of the Mass Pike. I'm going to court to fight it, because I have a great driving record and hope to charm the judge into reducing my penalty to a warning. I hope to keep it off of my record and prevent it from negatively effecting my insurance rates.  

I will probably add that my new car has more zip than my old one and I didn't realize my actual speed. Again, I deserved the ticket but hope that my good record will warrant at least one warning before further penalties.  I might also add that I had just driven into the Boston area from west of the city where the speed limit on the highway is 80mph. They won't check. Will they?

But, part of me is tempted to explain that I should get a reprieve in light of my innocence relative to other offenders in the news.  I could explain that my other vehicle is a homemade scooter consisting of lawnmower parts and a bar stool and that I often drive it from my garage right up to the bar (literally) and back home after a good bender. What if my bar stool and I were to go bar-hopping (although hop it wouldn't), a feat that would be impossible without some stool-scooter recklessness ? And the judge should definitely punish me if I were to cause a traffic accident while driving under the influence on my bar stool. If I were to total my vehicle, my embarrassing insurance claim would be enough punishment. Right. Because driving a bar stool around town wasn't.

1 comment:

PG said...

good luck man. i fought (and won) a speeding ticket last year.

first step is a magistrate's hearing. the ticketing officer won't be there - they will read the ticket info and ask your side.

I am guessing they will not offer to reduce to a warning, but fingers crossed.

Whatever is offered by the magistrate you have the choice to accept or further appeal.

Second appeal is before a proper judge. Ticketing officer needs to appear or you win by default (that is how I won).

I guess a reduction to a warning could happen in this stage.

But either way, goodonya for not tooling around on a barstool!