Monday, February 22, 2010

Why Santa Can Never Retire to Florida

My car has a built-in compass, but I find it quite dangerous to be constantly looking down at it's needle on the console. Therefore, I stay clear of other moving vehicles and people while using it. Unfortunately, this limits me to driving around the local quarry on Tuesday nights. They really should put some more lights in over there. Someone might drive their car right over the edge and land on that other car down there. Thos poor folks must not have had a compass.

I often do donuts in the Kmart parking lot to test the compass accuracy. Man, those things are hard to fool. And the damn thing keeps pointing at the store's Auto Center, which leads me to wonder if it's a compass or something more intelligent. One day, the compass and engine heat needles started pointing at each other. Despite my reminder that "pointing isn't nice", it continued until the argument got really overheated. Thankfully, we were already at the Auto Center. I sensed a silent "I told you so".

Ok. You are correct that this is all fiction (except for the Tuesday night quarry outings). My car's compass is internal and displays it's decision electronically on the mirror. This placement is very confusing. Is the direction displayed indicate the direction I'm facing or the direction I see in my mirror? Because, I would really like to know where the ECILOP are coming from.

While sitting still at a traffic light yesterday, I noticed the displayed direction suddenly change from "SW" to "S". I didn't even move! Therefore, I can only conclude that I witnessed a rare shift in the Earth's polarity. Either that or Santa moved and took his North Pole sign with him.

Well, I could only take this as a sign from the compass gods. The message? To start writing more on my blog. Or head back to the Kmart parking lot. Thankfully, these are not mutually exclusive.