Yo Quiero Wedding Bells

The town of Normal, Illinois will now need to change it's name. It may have lived up to it until a couple got married at Taco Hell.

I am very, very happy for the married couple and I'm not here to tease them specifically. They're actually kinda cute. Instead, it prompted me to think about a Taco Hell wedding.

The Dating Years

He likes her 7-Layer Crunchwrap and she likes his Steak Burrito Belgrande. They dream of a Taco-filled life together and share the same dreams, passions, and love for packets of salsa.

The Proposal

On one knee, he asks her to marry him and refill his soda on her way back from the restroom. She says yes(!) and they plunk down a quarter each to celebrate with a ride on the Taco-Go-Round.

The Preparations - The Week Before

A true first in the history of weddings, the groom visits the venue frequently to finalize the details and the menu. He always leaves 99 cents lighter.

The Preparations - The Morning of the Wedding

Breakfast Burritos from the drive-through.

The Best Man and Maid of Honor

They participate when they aren't ringing up customers.  The rings are handed back to the groom with his receipt.

The Flower Girl

Drops Nachos in the aisle.

The Justice of the Peace

Organizes and wins a refried beans eating contest prior to the ceremony. He leaves early.

The Vows (written on the back of a soft taco wrapper)

"I, Extreme Beef and Cheese Quesadilla, take you Grande Soft Taco,

to be my lawfully wedded Chalupa

to have and to eat, 

with salsa or beans,

for 99 cents or less,

in sickness or salmonella,

to love and takeout,

from this day forward,

until Taco Hell files for bankruptcy."

Tossing the Flower Bouquet

A male trucker from Omaha catches it.

Tossing the Garter Belt

With fear of what might come next, the trucker from Omaha tackles an old lady from Normal, Ill. (she's a regular) and comes out victorious again.

The Chicken Dance and Macarena.

Annoying, but both appropriate.

Dinner

The manager opens a second register.

Dessert

Only available at participating locations.

The Honeymoon Suite (in Chihuahua, Mexico of course)

"Honey. Are you okay in there?"

"No."

"Was it the-"

"Volcano Burrito."

"Oh. That was part of their 'Run for the Border' special..."

"Si. Run for the Bathroom."

Happily Ever After

They live in a casa, adorned with a bell, by the highway where they raise their two taquitos (one hijo and one hija) and a talking pet chihuahua.

A Town Named Normal

To be renamed Loco.

Photo credit