Friday, February 6, 2009

The Yuppie Gangsta Lean

I am one of the many Americans most likely to be ticketed.  Why?  Because I drive a station wagon.  More specifically, I drive a Subaru Outback which has been deemed one of the most ticketed cars.  In the article, they make the following statement:

"Subarus have a reputation of being yuppie grocery getters, but the Outback manages to prove that stereotype wrong by being one of the top ten most ticketed cars. Apparently, the Outback is the car of choice for people who need to get to Whole Foods in a hurry, and maybe park illegally once they're there."

I take offense to this.  I am not a yuppie grocery getter.  I have the house manager do that.  Just kidding.  This yuppie totally gets groceries.  I will also add that if I were going to Whole Foods, I would be in a hurry because their white pizza from the deli is OMG to die for.  However, I wouldn't park illegally. Why bother when there's plenty of parking to borrow from a fire truck that's never there?

This article made me laugh, because I find it to be quite inaccurate.  Besides the points made above, I can't get ticketed.  I drive fast on the highway, but I'm smart about it and have a clean driving record.  And I don't think that while driving down my suburban town roads, a cop is going to pull over this middle-aged soccer dad.  Perhaps I should stop slumping in the seat doing the gangsta lean out the window, but even this hasn't gotten me into any trouble with anyone except my horrified wife.

I would like to note that on the list of cars least ticketed is a Jaguar XJ.  Again, I dare to prove the survey's inaccuracies.  If I were to be driving any kind of Jaguar down the road, it would be clear to everyone that I had stolen the car and they would be correct.  And as with the Outback, even the gangsta lean is not going to help this yuppie grocery getter.

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