Tics Don't Mix (with radioactive materials)

During a conversation this evening, I was reminded of a lesson that I once learned.  It is imperative that I share this with my readers.  This is very important, so please read carefully.

One should never work in a radiation laboratory with someone who has an uncontrollable tic.

In my first job out of college, I was trained in a radioactive research laboratory by an individual who had a terrible tic.  His tic was characterized by sudden and repeated moving of the arm behind his head. Rapidly up and down, from low behind his neck to above his head as far as he could reach.

Tics themselves are not funny.  However, the simple fact that someone who had a tic was hired to work in a radiation lab is worth discussing.  How did he land the job? Really?  

Alright, so management either didn't know or was avoiding a discrimination lawsuit.  Was there some awareness of the associated risks?  Without knowing what type of work he did before, I speculate that his references must have been glowing even prior to the radioactive work.

"He was a great member of the bomb squad and has the scars to prove it.  We never hesitated to call on him to diffuse the most complicated bombs."

"He was an excellent mural painter.  His abstract expressionist pieces left us speechless."

"How well did he perform surgery? Not well, but his bedside manner is excellent."

I am now starting to understand why I got the job.  I was the kid right out of college they could throw into the radioactive lab with a man who had a tic.  I can imagine the managers discussing my fate. 

"Let that new Tyler kid work in the rad lab and give 'Hot Joe' a break from working with the tic guy. He's been in there for years."

What else was I going to do?  I wanted experience, needed cash, and had fallen asleep during the Radiation Safety Training video.

On my first day in the lab, I was terrified. While showing me how to apply "hot" liquids to a bag containing DNA-labeled membranes, I was introduced to the tic for the first time.  It surprised me as it came out of nowhere.  Fortunately, there wasn't any radioactive liquid on his hands with which to spray the walls and ceiling whilst unintentionally reliving his mural painting days.

To this day, there is a horrible tale told in the dark corners of research laboratories everywhere.  Although it didn't involve me directly, I counted my blessings and knew that my days were numbered.  Another rookie labmate was working in the lab with our trainer when his tic suddenly appeared while demonstrating a laboratory technique.  Unfortunately in the same moment, the DNA-labeled membranes he was working with folded over themselves when they were meant to stay flat.  He freaked out and started thrashing about as he tried to straighten them without gloves on.  In the end, the worst exposure was to his hands which he scrubbed immediately.  Fortunately, this story could have gone several different ways and it is the potential worst case scenarios that caused us the greatest concern.  

I am also happy to report that I was never exposed to unsafe levels of radiation.  My exposure to the tic were also limited.  However, I still cannot forget the humor that is a radiation laboratory whose primary technician has an uncontrollable tic.  Coincidentally, management knew that my tic was controllable.  I needed the job and swearing at the guy wasn't going to get me anywhere in my career.