Invicipimple

I recently went to the dermatologist.  My primary reason for making the appointment was for a small cyst on my chin.  The cyst originally pretended to be a pimple, but decided to stick around for the holidays.  Even after a few weeks of denial, I was convinced that it was an invincible pimple and occasionally tried without success to eliminate the zit.  I have since named it "The Invincipimple," despite it's new diagnosis.

When I arrived at the doctor's office, the waiting room was filled with the sounds of the Beatles.  The track playing, "Twist and Shout", was a coincidental reminder of what happened when I discovered that the Invincipimple wasn't a pimple after all. When I literally took things into my own hands, it hurt so much that jumped up and down while howling for forgiveness by the Gods of Personal Hygiene.

The receptionist asked me to complete a registration form.  I was disappointed that there wasn't a question about skin size, because I had already calculated my SFOS (Square Feet of Skin) just in case.  Instead, I got stuck on a couple real questions in the Insurance section of the document.

Subscriber: ______________

Relationship to Subscriber: ______________

I am the subscriber to my health insurance and hence answered the first question with my full name, but the second question really forced me to ponder the question.  What is my relationship with myself?  At first, I decided that the space allotment for this question was clearly not enough.  Where do I start?  Overall, my relationship with myself is quite positive.  I can be very self-conscious and overly critical of myself. I know myself very well, better than when I first met myself (which is way before I can remember).  I am my best friend. I love myself but love other people more.  Sometimes I get annoyed with myself, but it only makes it worse when I can't get a break from myself.  I once tried to take a vacation without myself, but I was hurt and went along anyways after I apologized to me.  So, my relationship with myself is pretty good. But that's not really what they want to know...

Subscriber: Tyler James Aldredge.

Relationship to Subscriber: Self.

'Self' rhymes with 'Elf', but I digress.  'Tis the season.

After completing the registration form, I looked around the full waiting room.  A man and a woman had struck up a conversation earlier and had by now reached the flirtation stage of the discussion.  The Beatles, now singing "Do You Want to Know A Secret?", prompted me to wonder when these two would come clean (so-to-speak).  At some point in their relationship, they would have the discussion.

"So....why were you at the dermatologist?"

"I dunno. Why were you there?"

I wondered if this would happen on the first date? Second date? Or would they wait until, well, skin was the topic at hand?

The Beatles continued to sing.

"Listen,

Do you want to know a secret?

Do you promise not to tell?, whoa oh, oh."

I decided to keep quiet.  So did my Self.