Beans Before Bathtime

I once entered an essay contest to win a spa jacuzzi. They asked for 30 reasons why we should win a spa. Here is what they received from me:

"Description of 30 Reasons why you want a Caldera Spa:

1.Please accept this entry for a free portable CD player and stereo receiver with the additional bonus of a built-in spa!

2.This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to own a Caldera spa and, if I win, I will never take it for granted. I would be forever grateful and consider it a lifelong investment for both Caldera and my family.

3.*Why* would I like to own a Caldera spa? Comfort, performance, and style. I have learned a lot about your spas and am truly convinced of your company’s dedication to exceeding expectations in all of these areas.

4.My wife and I have celebrated our most special occasions by searching out hotels with nice spas, but we have only been successful a couple times. I want to make every day a special occasion worth celebrating with my family.

5.The Caldera “Spa Steps” that I got for my last birthday look silly without the spa. So does the Spa Enclosure.

6.My recent obsession with energy efficiency has resulted in the acquisition of as many energy efficient appliances and items as possible…it’s a building year….

7.The advertised “free brochure” on your website sounds interesting and I hope that this entry would increase my chances of winning one of those, too.

8.We entertain a lot and parties have been a bit dull since “the lawn dart incident” a few years ago.

9.We just bought a house and part of the deck was designed and built, by the forward-looking sellers, to accommodate for the addition of a future spa.

10.We are moving into our new house soon and we would like to give the neighbors something to talk about.

11.I believe that few things sell a good product than word-of-mouth and when I enjoy a product, I tell everyone.

12.I will give my Caldera spa the best 30th Anniversary party *ever*.

13.I am dying to know what exists in your website’s “Owner’s Corner.” I didn't think I could look yet.

14. Spas improve circulation in the body. That's a good thing, right?

15.My wife is an amazing wife, a wonderful mother, and a genuinely great person. I would love to surprise her with a gift that would be forever remembered.

16.On the rare occasions that we have been able to enjoy a spa, we have noticed the physical and mental health benefits. With the reliability and quality of Caldera workmanship, winning this spa offers us the amazing opportunity to experience these benefits for a lifetime.

17.Our family vehicles consist only of a station wagon and a minivan. Please help a guy out- at this rate, I will *never* again have the chance to experience surround sound. In all seriousness, the aforementioned house we bought is wired for surround sound in one room but sadly I had to cover the wire connections because our budget doesn’t have room for speakers, not even to mention ones that turn 360 degrees.

18.Hot Tub Circuit Therapy sounds amazing, truly relaxing, and unlike anything that I could experience with any other spa.

19.After many years of babies, college loans, and mortgages, my wife and I have not had much left over to treat ourselves to a vacation or indulge in any personal relaxation.

20.One word: EcstaSeat. The beauty of this feature will never be overlooked by this particular contestant.

21.You have one of the *best* websites I have EVER seen. And has anyone ever told you that shirt looks *great* on you? Humor aside, I have found that your website sells your product well and I have fallen in love with your spas.

22.My wife and I are expecting a second child in April and would love to have a daily retreat from a busy day with two infants. The only alternative is reality television in which most seasons often feature a hot tub scene. Please save us from this horrible fate.

23.I moved to Boston from Pennsylvania many years ago. It is finally time to prove to locals that a “Spa” is not a mini-mart nor the true pronunciation of “spar,” which is what they threaten to do when I make comments like that.

24.Your virtual showroom is so realistic that every time I log onto your website, I end up naked with a glass of wine and at least 10 friends “on their way over”. This has to end.

25.My wife and I need a spa to prepare for the next casting call for the role of the “Caldera Couple” in future promotional videos.

26.Spas with hot water and jets get my wife in the mood and a Utopia spa will probably be more seductive than our usual “Beans Before Bathtime” events.

27.As a manufacturing professional, I can genuinely recognize and appreciate the value of a reliable, high quality, and well-manufactured product.

28.A Caldera spa would be a wonderful addition to a wonderful home.

29.We do not deserve to win this spa more than any other qualified candidate. However, we will be forever thankful and our gratitude will show in our constant care, praise, and use of our Caldera spa.

30.I need more personal relaxation time, because lately I only have enough time to write 30 fragmented thoughts before my son sees me on the computer and starts to press the computer ke333lkj;wefa;ewjlpliwyoe[jjjjjjjjjjjwafiofwaieoaijfwa1118,,,s"