If You Are Reading This From My Attic, Please Come Down

On December 29th, a family in Pennsylvania discovered that a man had been living in their attic.  The man climbed up there when he was kicked out by his friends in the adjacent unit, which shared an attic with the unsuspecting family's home.  Instead of leaving, he climbed up into the attic.  When the neighboring family wasn't home, he would climb down and steal clothing and electronics including a computer.  He made a list called "Stanley's Christmas List" on which he listed the items he had stolen.  If his unintentional hosts had a strong wireless signal, he may have even started a blog. 

I would know if someone was living in my attic, right?  And if I noticed things were missing, I would call the cops, right?  OK, let's give them the benefit of the doubt.  Perhaps for years, Grandpa was up there before he passed and they were used to hearing footsteps.  That's the kind of noise that would just become background noise over time, desensitizing the family.  

But on Christmas day, didn't anyone notice that the cookies and milk were actually gone?

"That's strange. I didn't eat the cookies, did you?"

"Nope. Did you?"

"Nope."

"Cool. Merry Christmas. And sorry about your gift. I must have misplaced it."

"We're even."

But, the lawyer said that he was sorry.  And he found himself a pretty good lawyer who said, "He was very peaceful up there and kept to himself." Except when he was stealing things. 

Until a humane people trap is made, I will be setting hundreds of mouse traps in my attic.  I'll be sure to hear a person hopping around with a mousetrap clamped on to their toes.  But if I'm wrong and you see my posts suddenly stop for more than a few days, you'll know that my laptop has suddenly disappeared.